cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
In other news, I just burned my penis
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
