I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
