I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Randomize
