last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
It was confusing and full of hummus
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
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