The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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