I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
Randomize
