i can't believe i had my finger in that
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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