you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
Randomize
