I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Randomize
