Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
Randomize
