What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
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