Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
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