Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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