there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
