Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
