If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
