I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
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