I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
