just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
