Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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