yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Randomize
