Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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