I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
