There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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