do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
