i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
her facebook's as public as her vagina
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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