I wish they made helmets for livers.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize