He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
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