my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Randomize
