I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize
