yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
Do vagina's smell?
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
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