She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Randomize
