his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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