8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Randomize
