There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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