Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Randomize
