Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Randomize
