Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
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