I feel like I'm in dance class right now
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
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