Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Randomize
