Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
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You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Randomize
