I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Randomize
