I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
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