i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
I have grass duct taped all over my body
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Randomize
