do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I can text with my tongue
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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