I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
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