You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
