I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
