When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
And then my night got REAL pukey
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
