Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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