nut hugger
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize