He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
