What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Randomize
