I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
