Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
