sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
