You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
