I can tuck mytits in my pants
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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