The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Randomize
