You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize