from now on my penis is your penis
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
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