"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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