...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Randomize
