Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
