those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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