Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Randomize
