Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Randomize
